Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

Harder

Being home is not easy. I love my family, I love my house, and I love my friends, but this is not easy. All I can think about is the ship, the countries, being able to walk 30 seconds to my farthest friend's cabin, traveling, all my new friends, and the world.
I haven't really seen any friends yet. I don't really know where to start. I feel like I need to see everyone at the same time to avoid playing a perceived game of favorites, but I know that's impossible so I end up not seeing anyone because I don't know who to see and in what order.
It's hard sitting here doing laundry and typing and unpacking and watching the memories fly onto my shelves. I look at my map of the world with 108 dots on it and a red line connecting them all.
My parents bought a dog since I was gone, from a shelter He's SO CUTE but has some temper issues. He's so shy, and when someone he seems someone he doesn't recognize, he barks and goes crazy. So I get home and start living my life at home and this drives Dodger, the dog, nuts. He senses a disturbance in the force. When he goes crazy it doesn't seem right because he is so adorable. I have given him food and a toy, and sometimes he smells me, but after he barks at me and my dad comes out and calms him down, he gets very bashful and sad, as if he doesn't know why he did the things he did. We got him from a shelter and are pouring lots of money into setting him straight. If he can't get used to me within the next few weeks, we're going to have to take him back to a shelter. Nobody wants that to happen, but it may be the only solution. I felt really bad typing that. The weirdest thing is being unwelcome by my own dog (though he had never met me until yesterday). The last thing I need right now is a dog restricting my access to my own house and being not-so-happily acknowledging my presence at home.

Better

I am a better person because of this experience. I feel I am a better artist: I got to play piano in a band almost every day and practice comedy every once in a while. I feel better about myself, who I am, and what I want to accomplish in this life. I feel that I can better understand domestic and international political issues, and that I can better educate younger people, peers, and elders on them. I feel I have a better understanding of world cultures and how to compare them and how to appreciate them. I think about my friends whose grandparents and parents, even, are from some of the places I've been, and I feel a better connection to them and their culture. And I BETTER see all of my friends again and I BETTER be traveling again.


Faster

Nothing has ever gone by faster that SAS in my life, but it only feels like that right now. During the voyage, I made every day last. I don't have a single regret about the entire experience (except maybe bringing more sheet music with me).
Here at home everything moves faster, especially communication. I haven't really used my cell phone in a few months and it feels so strange that I can contact anyone so fast whenever I want. Having Facebook back is a blessing and a curse, after having been weened off of it for so long. I strive to not let the fast-moving stressed-out way of life we've got going on here in the USA take me over.

Stronger

I've made bonds with people, both friends and strangers, that are stronger than any I have ever made. I have a much stronger sense of empathy for foreigners in our own country (both tourists and immigrants) having been met with the most gracious welcomes in the world and the most intense get-the-hell-out-of-my-country glares you can imagine. I have a stronger sense of responsibility to the world. I can't solve world hunger or world poverty overnight, but I can take small steps like making others aware and treating the world around me in a more accommodating way.
I am a much stronger person when faced with adversity. I have thrown myself into a country with one of the highest murder rates, found myself a taxi, and found a hotel to stay in for two nights. The problems that I was faced with on a daily basis before I saw and did the kinds of things in the world that I did seem trivial, worthless, and negligible.
I have a stronger connection to the world as a whole. It seems smaller, not bigger. It seems more accessible, not less. It seems familiar, not strange.

More than ever hour after
our work is never over.

My work is never over. More than ever before, I feel a direct responsibility to the world, to change things for good however I can. Through art or education or whatever. All I know is that my life just got a huge jump start, and more than ever, my work is never over.