A lot of people have been asking me if I am excited, or if I'm getting pumped, or telling me I must be sooooo excited. I am really quite excited, I'm thrilled to have this opportunity. But I think that my excitement is a dormant monster lurking in the bowels of my mind.
For instance, last year I went to Israel for 21 days and was not excited until the eve of my departure when I said to myself "Oh man, I'm getting on a plane and going to Israel in five hours."
Thus, I imagine my excitement for Semester at Sea is a similar thing, appearing when I get on the plane to go to Florida on Thursday and when I get on the plane to go to the Bahamas and when reality smacks me in the face as I see the M.V. Explorer, docked, beckoning my name through its smokestacks.
I also feel that I have enough happening in my life right now to distract me from getting excited. I have a list of things I need to do before I leave on Thursday. Granted, most of it is packing and buying things from Target (which will probably further the reality of my departure), but some of it is saying goodbye to people or doing a little more reading.
Or maybe I am simply avoiding the reality of putting my world on pause and putting the rest of the world on play. I hope it doesn't go by like a fast forward, because I know I can't rewind.
Or maybe it is because a wise man once told me never to set expectations, only to set goals. So while I choose to set goals and dodge expectations, I don't imagine what I am expecting the trip to be like, I just make a list of things I want to do. Rather than expecting to sit on the deck and lounge in a chair sipping sweet lemonade and bronzing my body, I make it a goal to remember to have some relaxation time. Therefore, I evade imagining the trip, possibly contributing to my lack of external excitement.
Regardless, I am looking forward to my journey and I am sure an invisible hand (not this one) will give me a good, hard, slap in the face when I place my last vestment in my luggage, and I can't wait to be jumping out of my skin with excitement.
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Yeah I have the sneaking suspicion that it hasn't really hit me yet either. I think I'll freak out when I actually see the ship. Or maybe at the first moment when I look out and say "There is no land, anywhere."
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with your comments on the excitement of studying abroad. I feel like I've been putting on a fake smile half the time, since it only becomes more real to me as the date gets closer. :)
ReplyDeleteWhen I read that "set goals" thing, I remembered you telling me that at camp, and I got a little warm and fuzzy feeling inside.
ReplyDeleteHave fun on your trip.
I might be dead when you get back, because sophomore year is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. But all else is well.
this is Jason Boxer, btw.
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