Incredible !ndia

On the side of the tourism buses here, they say "Incredible !ndia"and then underneath it says "The Mantra to Woo Tourist"

That's hilarious, and had to use it to title my blog.

So.

Before every port we have a cultural pre-port, where we learn about the culture and customs of the country, and a logistical pre-port, where we learn about the logistics of the port like security, food, safety, which side of the ship the gangway is, et cetera.

At the logistical pre-port before India, Les McCabe, the executive dean, told us that of all the countries SAS students go, they say India changes them the most. He told us to be prepared to be changed, because India is something special.

Today I went to see the MICE (Mobile Interactive Computer Ensemble, a group/class of electronic music on the ship) performance. I had no idea that it was a performance at SRM, a University in Chennai. What I was expecting was a small MICE concert, but what I got was a chance to meet many Indian university students.

When we got there they gave us bindi, which is the mark in between the eyes that you see on many Indian people, as well as a flower. We walked into the auditorium where MICE was to perform, and it was filled with Indian students. They said “Please give a hearty welcome to our American friends!” And every head turned our direction and we were given a huge round of applause. They had saved us front row seats and I sat in front of some Indian students with whom I had some great conversations.

After the performance, we went back up to a conference room where we signed a visitors notebook and had refreshments. They passed a microphone around and I said that their hospitality was incredible. I also said something that astounded me. We showed up, and we're treated like celebrities; we are foreign and new to them. But to us, THEY are the celebrities! So we are each seeing each other as something special.

Though it was short, these students were not unlike me and friends that I have, except they are all majoring in engineering, technology, or computer science. More often than not, they want to pursue their graduate education somewhere in the United States. Why? Because it's the land of opportunity. Not all of them wanted to stay in the US though, but a lot of them did.

They came from different places in the country, which is divided up into states kind of like the US. Each state has a different language, so most students speak English (or other western language) Hindi, and then an assortment of native languages or state-specific languages.

But the main event was the welcome reception. Not an hour after getting back from the MICE show we hopped on another bus and went to a courtyard somewhere in the city where we were greeted with drums, flowers, and another bindi. Mine got put a little up and left from where it was supposed to be, but that's not a big deal. In the courtyard was dancing, shopping, and lots of food. But more importantly, we were greeted “namaste” by droves of excited, friendly, and happy Indian college students.

I ate some food. The names are hard to remember, but it was all very good. I took a big hunk of some chutney that was spicy and the guy I was sitting with, Nabil, thought it was funny because to him it's not spicy at all. I didn't use silverware, just my hands, to scoop up the food and put it in my mouth. I didn't even have a table, just the plate, and the plate was generous; the tradition is to eat off of a banana leaf on the floor. (what's with me and the semi-colons? That's like the second one I've used).

I spoke to guys and girls alike, but after a while I had gotten deep in conversation with a few guys. One of the most fascinating things was the difference in marriage. In India, marriages are arranged. They told us that at the pre-port and all that stuff but it was interested to hear the process:

The parents can present a possible bride to their son, who then goes to the bride's house as she speaks for a while. If there is a mutual feeling of possibility, they will get married. If not, then it is nothing rude, the families will politely decline.

They were surprised by how we date and have relationships before marriage. To us, marriage is the last step. To them, it's the first. But there is a lot less pressure on it when your family plays a large role in deciding who you marry. They really trust their parents to find someone good, and if the son or daughter doesn't like the other person, then it's a no-go. Every family in India is huge and the parental/familial support is a major part of every Indian's life.

In the US, marriage is much easier to come by. Two people who can decide to get married, and if it doesn't work out or they run into problems, divorce. The end. Many more broken families in the US. In India, divorce is very rare. If there are familial problems with a new marriage, the families will work together to make it work.

I always found that the children who were more successful in school were the ones who had a much more solid family life. This may explain why so many more careers, such as doctors, are Indians. In fact, as I have been watching sitcoms that span over the last 20 years, the doctors on shows like Seinfeld and Friends (largely 90s shows) were obviously old Jewish guys. But now, on more modern shows like How I Met Your Mother, the doctors are Indians or other east-Asians.

Are Americans lazy? Maybe. But the emphasis on family that I have seen in the Indian culture really made me thing about my future as a husband and a father. I like to think that my family is pretty strong, and that is a value I will pass on.

Another thing our friends Nabil, DJ (short for a D name and a J name that I cannot remember and if I could I wouldn't be able to type them out), and Hari spoke to us about was how everyone is so friendly. They want to meet us just as we want to meet them. Someone at a post-port reflections after South Africa mentioned how in SA everyone was so friendly, accepting us as tourists and helping us, and how sometimes in the US we scoff at them and watch them as they get lost instead of helping them. I brought this up with these guys and I told them that their hospitality has inspired me to, when I see tourists, really reach out a helping hand.

Nabil told us to take India back home by remembering their culture and their customs, and being friendly to all we meet, just as they are. I told him I wish I could pick up India and take it back into my home. But he said something different.

“Pick up India and put it in your heart.”

On the first day of India, I am already in love with it, and I already know I am going to be sad to leave.